>i surrender

>has anyone here every felt that everything seems to be okay, that somehow you are pretty darn sure of what’s happening but when you make that one seemingly unimportant decision, it blows up your face?

no, that’s no rhetorical question, i’m actually asking. e-mail me or post a comment or something, i wanna know.

i think i just gave up on love. i sense eyes rolling. careful, i’ll take them out with a dull knife.

the romantic in me just died. when i say romantic, i don’t mean roses on valentine’s day, or cooking breakfast for your significant other. i mean a person who believes that the greatest human experiences are not summed up in great achievements and recognition but by emotions and intense feelings that defy logic. i used to be a romantic. i doubt it now.

i have drowned myself with all the make-me-feel-good songs – from jLo’s feeling so good to sara evan’s perfect but nothing works. i buried myself in pages and pages of hawthorne’s the scarlet letter and wasted hours playing pokemon with my gameboy, still, i feel sad.

no, i’m pass sad. i’m fuckin’ pissed off.

i thought love can go beyond borders, go over seas and oceans, fly across the blue sky, but love goddam stinks in the end. maybe ally was right, we settle for the one near to us rather than look for the someone in our dreams. settling is not bad, ain’t it? why look for someone who is not real?

give me a week, i’ll probably retract everything i said here. but right now, i need to blow off some steam.