>how to make brownies

>ok, i’m no expert in baking, but i actually enjoy it after all the months i have helped out marie, my stepmom, in her baking and cooking and stuff.

i usually buy my mix in a box, haha! i can’t bake from scratch yet, i’m not that brave yet.

usually, them boxed mixes only asks for like an egg, some cups of water and like that.

then, all you do is mix ’em up.

and it should by now good to eat! haha! this is the point where i have to decide wheter i really wanna bake the batter or just get a straw and start sucking, haha!

or i just skip the straw and use the wooden spoon.

put the batter in a pan and stick it in the oven.

forty minutes later, tada!

and it’s al;l about the presentation, baby. most things look better and taste better with whipped cream and chocolate syrup *wink* *wink*

>hands to heaven

>was blog-hopping for a while and passed by markie’s blog. i heard the song before, and i know that it is a cover. never did pay attention before, til now. i’ve always had troubles sleeping, i prefer to get myself real tired so that when i lay down, sleep will take over. if not, i end up laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking. sometimes, i do not really think about anything in particular, i know i’m not alone with that. i just wonder if in my deep “unthinking”, someone out there is doing the same thing.

my ate i.n has been pestering me about getting a girlfriend not long ago, saying i have so much spare time that i end up doing nothing when i could be spending it with someone. i wish it is that easy. i have this bad cycle of falling in love so easily, but having a hard time getting out of it.

maybe i do have so much love to give, but i don’t know why i prefer to lay here on a bed fit for two by myself. i don’t want to look for someone, because i’ve found someone already. i want to believe i found her already rather. i’m too old for this search-and-date game; i’m tired of it to be more accurate.

should i try to work it out with someone who is married with a kid? she is my first love after all. i know she is not happy with her marriage, and i adore her kid. her family likes me as well. the only problem is she is married. something that i could have stopped, i guess, if only i asked. i knew something was bothering her that midnight of may at my place in tambo. maybe i was just apprehensive to ask knowing that my friends are just a couple of feet away, sleeping in our couch. i realized just lately how willing i am to adopt a child, just in case things don’t work out between her and her husband. i have never thought i would be entangled in this web! never ever did i thought i would consider having an affair, or breaking up a marriage. maybe it is over between us. over? i don’t even recall it starting.

then there’s the puppy love – the first person whom i loved who loved me back. but i blew it – several times. there was this one time that i just wanted to talk to her, just wanted to say hi. i have no idea how the conversation turned in to this twisted talk about being left behind and betrayal. what the fuck did i say that made this talk so… so… so wrong. i have fucked up so many things in life, none of which i ever have regrets about, and then this? there is still this urging in me that maybe, i can still patch this up. but then again, i’m tired of it. love shouldn’t be this much work and effort.

and of course, the friend you can not have, hahaha! the one person you are hoping to be intimate with but afraid to mess up the disposition you have worked for so hard. fuck that.

i am getting to old, huh? maybe i have fucked around enough already, maybe even too much. i need to be serious about this already. i do want to be next with somebody i love and care about.

i just need some sleep. even if “tonight i need your sweet caress…”

>tu familia locos

>just got back from the ranch, whew, what a week! where do i begin?


at last, after over a month of working my ass, i have my old work sched again which is just saturday and sunday graveyards. fortunately, aunt renee and the potwin gang are coming over the same week!


after work last sunday night / monday morning, i just slept the whole day. tuesday, dad picked me up from my place and started packing when we got to his place. we got this camper to put on top of the van, and it felt like forever doing that. we barely got sleep since marie prepared food and all that, had like a four-hour sleep.


wednesday morning, we went straight to the cabin and met with granpa ben who will perform a sundance. dad was dancing again, so marie, the kids and i stayed in the ranch. some of the kansas people were there already. larry aka hopkins aka hop aka eeyore aka uncle nasty was there, so is jessie with his new girlfriend brandie (i kinda miss the ex, melissa aka crackwhore, she was more fun), joe and uncle kelly aka whitt. 


jessie fourwheeling by turkey creek 

but there was some sort of a misunderstanding that we ended up going back to colorado city!


so thursday night and friday morning was just spent cooking and staying up.


friday afternoon, aunt renee picked us up and we headed back to the ranch. that was the same day that we went to granma rosie’s ranch and check out the sundance. aunt berna, aunt priscilla and aunt noel were all there! them are my granma’s sisters, and this is the first time i’ve seen them all four together.


dad was still dancing (they dance for four days, no food, no water. ain’t that grand), so i decided to go ahead and do the flesh offering. granpa ben took four little pieces of my flesh from my shoulders. not too bad, considering i endured a half-hour tattoo. gosh, what else am i gonna do with my body?


anyway, that night was freaking great! i went to bed around seven to refresh myself, then got up at ten. i only had like a half a can of coors and hop was already making fun of me that i passed out for like three hours over a half a can of coors. aunt renee was like “shut the fuck up” and whitt was saying “hop, you haven’t seen how drunk can ken be!” we sat by the smoker (big home made barbecue grill, pretty neat) since we were freezing our ass off… in the middle of the fucking summer.


marie cooking by the smoker 

anyway, larry was telling us this funny story. there were three cowboys who were captured by this tribe of indians. and these indians were gonna chop heir heads of, so these strapping cowboys begged for their lives so the indian said that if they can whip out a nine inch dick all together, they can go free. so cowboy number one showed his, it was a four incher, so did the second one. so the third just needs an inch and they are free. so he did show his dong and luckily it was an inch long. so there were released and pretty much relieved. then the third cowboys said, “well thank god i had a hard on else we are dead” hahahahahaha!


after we finished like three boxes of coors (a box has like twelve cans) between moi, hop, whitt, jessie, joe and aunt renee, unc whitt showed up with an eight year old whiskey, which can’t be eight years old considering he has the bottle hidden in the shed for the past three years. it was fucking good.


the aftermath. them coors ad it coming  

 i was floored after eight shots. but then again, it was just me, whitt and joe slugging that whiskey.


brandie the morning after

by sunrise, i am now whiskey ken to potwin kansas, ha-ha! which is better than pretty boy of kansas! it used to be my cousin josh who is pretty boy, but he got married the same year i came over to potwin, so i got his title passed down to me.


suffice to say, i had a great time!