as i stand here on my children’s grave

i did not know why i was out in the ocean, sailing my sweet christine. all i knew back then was i had to sail. and there i saw him, half dead. why are you out here, my michael. i gave you your breath back, you lived because i willed such. and now i am bound to hurt you again, as i have done that christmas eve.

i am the thirteenth, the strongest in this twisted lineage of powerful witches. from the time suzanne called out to my lasher – my lover and my son – to that fateful christmas, my family’s genes crossed between strangers and cousins and fathers and daughters. oh, oncle julien, why? why did you do this? you only made powerful witches, and the more powerful, the more crazy they seem. am i the same?

i was the one who brought lasher back to flesh, as he had predicted when suzanne called him into existence. i was the doorway. i was the one who can kill without even my knowledge. and somehow, being a neurosurgeon did not absolve me of my sins. i called lasher that night. and he was born a man. i bled. i almost died. i had to take him away from him, before my husband finds us. but i was too late, or michael came early rather, i do not know. i had to take him away. that is my sin. pride. but i can’t destroy this creature, my son, my lover, a taltos. i have to know what makes him different from us! but my sin brought this great tragedy to my family of witches. aunt gifford, forgive me. many mayfairs i do not even know about. all died of miscarriage, as my son rampaged every single one of them, hoping to find a powerful witch strong enough to carry a child. another taltos. my emaleth, my daughter from my son. how i wished you lived long enough to know you and love you as i have loved my lasher.

but you left me half dead, the way i first met michael. i hear people, see them, but i can’t find the strength to move my limbs. emaleth, you almost killed your mother! i was lucky enough to find my way back to first street – in the house michael revived from its dismal state. so did lasher. that sweet scent. i knew you were near. so did mona. all mayfair witches knew you were nearby by the account of your scent. by my michael cannot bear to see you, lasher. you knew what would happen. you always did. so why did you stay in michael’s presence? you knew he will use a hammer to break your still soft skull. i am almost certain michael aimed at the fontanel – where you are most vulnerable. you should have stayed away from us, lasher. you should have.

so how did i wake from my vegetative state? my emaleth came. she ran her long thin fingers through my hair. i loved your scent. almost as sweet as your brother’s, your father’s. you gave me the milk from your breasts. so sweet. it was ecstatic. i wonder if lasher felt the same when he drank from me.

but i cannot let you live, my daughter. i just can’t let you. i am only sorry that i had to take your life the way michael took lasher’s. and just as michael did with lasher’s body, i dug a grave by the pool, next to your brother.

now, i am back in my michael’s arms. and i am scared of what i have to do. i have to go after the men who killed aaron.

survey trip

stolen from ate i.n.

Three names you go by:
1. kix
2. kenneth
3. francis

Three screen names you have had:
1. ken2ts
2. um… ken2ts
3. ken2ts. very original.

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. my hair. me like it. it’s maes hair.
2. my ass 😆 i know they’re not much, but i love ’em cheeks.
3. my left eye.

Three physical things you don’t like about yourself:
1. my flabs!
2. my skin. i have this rash that doesn’t go awa. you should see me when i break out at winters.
3. my right eye

Three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. spanish
3. lakota

Three things that scare you:
1. needles near my eye.
2. pens near my eye.
3. pencils near my eye.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. sunscreen
2. shower with the radio on
3. my cellphone

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. black boxer shorts
2. um…
3. … that’s about it. i’m at home.

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists:
1. jewel
2. matchbox twenty
3. black eyed peas

Three of your favorite songs:
1. you were meant for me, jewel
2. back 2 good, matchbox twenty
3. leave, matchbox twenty

Recent faves:
1. huwag na huwag mong sasabihin, kitchie nadal
2. my style, and my humps, black eyed peas
3. lua, coner oberst, bright eyes
Three things you want in a relationship:
1. love
2. trust
3. communication

Two truths & a lie (in no particular order):

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. eyes. the kind that when you look into ’em, you drown inside.
2. behind 😆 i’m not a boobie guy
3. height 😆 i want ’em short

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. watching will and grace 😛
3. chatting

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. sleep
2. make a rootbeer float. the ice cream and rootbeer are waiting in the fridge
3. watch a movie. been itching to see fantastic four

Three careers you’re considering/you’ve considered:
1. lotsa time on my hand, no money: fulltime artist
2. lotsa money, no time on my hand: fulltime accountant
3. an accountant in a museum

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. paris
2. boracay
3. any place where no one knows me

Three kid’s names you like:
1. emma
2. angelina
3. arthur

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. go to europe
2. move and settle in the east coast
3. see the mona lisa

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. i never ask for directions
2. i have commitment issues 😆
3. i burp when and where i wanna

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. i like cooking
2. i’m touch-y
3. i (almost) cried watching a walk to remember

Three celeb crushes:
1. kiera knightley
2. natalie portman
3. angelina jolie

Three people that i would like to see take this quiz now:
um, no one in particular. i’d pass.

this is sad

got home around 7.30 this morning, had my breakfast, and just when i was about to sleep, i saw that movie crossroads on mtv, that brit flick, was just about to start. i usually sleep on the couch in the living room after working at the motel since when the sun rises in the morning, it is pretty bright in the bedroom. but britney spears singing open your heart to meeeee… by madonna made me laugh so hard, i can’t get a shut eye! arg! i lost all “sleepiness” that my mind was so clear, i was able to change my template!

ain’t that sad? 😆