I Could Use a Hug

My dad has a theory that anyone who grew up in the Philippines is manic-depressive. He should know as he has at least three strong evidences: my mother, his wife, and me.
I’m going through another lull. It’s possible that the bad weather has something to do with it, or maybe because my day started with the horrible news in Aurora, CO. Two strong cases, but what really bums me out is two friends’ recent engagements to their boyfriends. I am extremely happy for them of course. One I found out through Twitter, during a recent trip to Europe. I imagine it was in Paris. Possibly London. The other, through Facebook. They recently bought a house together.
I’m not in a rush to get married. Frankly, I’m terrified of the thought, but I know eventually, it’s something I’d like to do. Have a house somewhere close in the city, have kids, a dog.
But in as much as I am not in a rush, I’m in a rut. I love my boyfriend, I wouldn’t stay with him for four and a half years now if I didn’t. And I’m sure he loves me too. We have so much fun when we’re together – he’s silly, and I’m hilarious. We never run out of things to talk about, and isn’t that what really matters if you’re looking for something long term? I’m really glad I have him. But we’re just standing still. And it’s hard to move forward when both of you are not ready.

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