And I’m Ready to Suffer and I’m Ready to Hope

I remember starting 2012 on a sour note – I was home staring at my tv, watching people choke on confetti in Times Square. There are two superstitions I learned in growing up in the Philippines and both I hold close to my heart because they tend to be true:
One – jump when midnight strikes on New Year. Jump as high as you can because it will make you grow tall. I never did as a child and now I am stuck at 5’5 on a good day.
Two – whatever situation you have going on on New Year’s day will be pretty much the set up for the rest of the year.
2012 was generally a sour year because I started the year on a sour note. There was a small spat with the bf – and the year was riddled with small spats with the bf. I’m lucky he has the patience that he has, because I would have broken up with me years ago. Interestingly enough, I wasn’t drinking that night and I have been relatively sober for 2012. I have to admit though, I miss drinking and being silly – maybe it’s just a sign I’m growing up slash getting old. Generally, I welcomed 2012 with a dark cloud over my head, and the cloud stayed.
But a new year is coming, and I will desperately shake this cloud away. I made dinner plans with some out-of-towner friends from college, my best friend is gonna catch up, boyfriend is gonna snatch me away to a house party with great positive vibe friends – there will be drinks and dancing. So watch out 2013. I’m ready for you.

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

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