Not Looking Good

It’s not looking good for us
What made it through the flood is now covered in rust
It’s not really working like I thought
But I can’t take it back
Like something I wish I’d never bought
I’m sorry that I dragged you all this way
For no one to call us back, no one you can play with
I could plant a thousand little seeds
But I can’t see a garden, just dirt up to my knees
Say it isn’t over, no, I need a second chance
I need a second chance

Nana’s Gone

Nana passed away last night.

Well, she’s not “nana” in that sense. She used to be dad’s neighbor back in Colorado City. They literally shared a wall. But that’s not all they shared.

She was very close to my family. She introduced my dad as her brother. It’s her on going joke. “This is my brother Fred. I know, we don’t look the same, but my mother doesn’t want to talk about it.”

I didn’t get the chance to see her often. But when I do, it’s always fun. She’d tell me crazy stories of her hay days. She was an accountant like me, but a fun accountant. We had talks about finding a difference of $1.80 in our books, and knew it a transpose error somewhere, and we’d laugh knowing no one else would understand what that meant. She would show me her tattoos and I’d she her mine. I once saw her passport. It was green. A diplomat’s passport. I still haven’t figured that out but this is one of the reasons why I’ve always thought she was cool.

I know she lived a full life. She did what she wanted. She corrected any mistakes she may have done along the way. One of her final acts was getting in touch with someone she needed to make amends with. She took off and came back happy.

And now, she left us. And she left us happy.

I Almost Got Run Over by a Bike

I don’t care for Citibike. It’s nice, I guess. Good for the environment. Makes money for the city. But honestly, I already have a hard time dodging pedestrians and cars, now I have to look out for bikes as well.

I was crossing 54th to Barnes and Noble after a being disappointed from not finding any Parker Pens in Sam Flax when in my periphery, I saw a bike careening towards me. I was busy diddling with my phone, chatting it up with four friends. My only saving grace was I have the light. On the other side, I can hear an old lady screaming.

I clenched. I did not run away. I did not scream, not even a yelp. I just waited to be hit.

But the biker tried to turn. He swerved too fast though. He started falling and he skidded.

I helped him get up and grabbed his bag. I actually apologized. I blurted something in the line of “I have the light” but he started yelling. I thought he was calling me a stupid bitch. And then I saw that he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking behind me. To the old lady. And as I turned, I realized what was happening. She was yelling at him for not slowing down. She was yelling that he could have ran over an old lady.

In my own near miss accident, no one was paying attention to me. No one even noticed my new eyeglasses.

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