who can talk to satan?

let him know i’m ready to make a deal.

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jim david says…

the good thing about reaching my age is you realize that people in their twenties don’t know a damn thing. they’re only good for looking better than people in their thirties and forties. so if you’re in your twenties: strike a pose and shut the fuck up.

if homosexuals don’t reproduce… why is there so many of them?

people here in new york are such snobs. you can take them on the top of mount everest, and they’ll say, ‘well, this is sooo overrated.’

the british can not be embarrassed. they can have their pants on their ankles and ask, ‘do you feel a draft?’

i believe in capital punishment. and since i was an 8th grade teacher, i believe capital punishment should start at twelve.