Getting Old and Growing Up

Just saw a recent episode of New Girl. Early on the episode, Nick was talking to a homeless guy (not the first time he did this) looking for advice about making decisions as a grown up. He just lost his father and felt that everything can be taken away from you unexpectedly, and that he worries about his relationship with roommate Jess.

I thought, “Grow up, Nick.”

— — —

I’m still conflicted about my boyfriend’s dad passing away. Passing away – I hate that term. Sounds like he just happen to be in the area, walking from point A to Point B, and he just passed by me. But in this case, he did. I saw tears, grief, mourning during the wake – and I honestly felt sad. I don’t know if it’s because I felt bad for everyone there, the same way I felt sad when I saw A Walk to Remember, the same way I cry over sad movies. I don’t know if it’s because I felt bad for my boyfriend and his siblings, and being sad is the only closest I could feel to losing a parent since I’ve never lost one and I can’t find anything to compare it with. Maybe I just felt sad because I don’t know my boyfriend’s dad, and now I never will.

I don’t know what my boyfriend is going through. I feel helpless because there’s nothing I can offer to help. I do not have the tools for this. But in a very selfish way, he does not know what I’m going through either. He’s mourning because he lost something he had. I’m mourning for something I’ll never know.

— — —

I had cousins come over from Toronto and had a good time taking them around the city. Granted that it’s the most tourist-y areas in the city, I know by the abundance of pictures they took that they enjoyed the lights of Times Square and the view in Battery Park. Also introduced them to halal street meat, also known as heaven in a styro plate. Pictures were uploaded on Facebook, and I gleefully viewed every single one of them.

My favorite one was of my mom when she was visiting them the week before. She was surrounded by her “grandkids” – my cousins’ children, none of them older than ten. She looked very happy.

— — —

My body is killing me. I must have slept in an awkward angle because the muscles over my right shoulder blade are together in deciding I should be in physical pain for the length of whatever time frame they agree on. I had a massage to loosen them up, and I did get some relief that lasted the duration of the massage. It’s been a few days and the pain is slowly going away, but it is still uncomfortable to sit up straight.

Nothing is sexier than the red bear prints tattooed on my back next to Salonpas heating patches and smelling like a hospice.

— — —

I’m worried I’m getting old too fast. I’m worried my dad will be taken away from me unexpectedly. I’m worried my mom would be too old to play with my non-existent child. I’m worried my shoulder and back would be too frail for me to hold up a child.

And I thought, “Grow up, Ken.”

Advertisements

A Case for Happy Endings

I first heard of Happy Endings from the Totally Laime podcast where Elizabeth Laime had Casey Wilson on. I actually watched the pilot because I wanna see Wilson. Why she was kicked out from SNL, I’ll never understand because that woman is funny. If you haven’t seen it, the show should be available in Hulu, just look it up. And if you need reasons to see it, let me give you some:

  • It’s like watching Friends – and let’s be honest, don’t you miss Friends? Fine, it’s not the same, but this really takes the edge off, and soothes that itch that cannot be scratched away. But let’s compare: Friends is NYC, Happy Endings, Chicago; both have six friends compromised by three guys and three girls; Friends all white folks, Happy Endings more multi-cultural; both started with a bride running away from a wedding.
  • Penny Hartz – played by Wilson. She plays the single gal, and who doesn’t love a single gal? We all have one of those in our group of friends. She dated a guy named Hitler, and she considered hyphenating her name if she ever marries this guy: Penny Hartz-Hitler. Yes, hilarious.
  • Dave and Alex – the series is probably going to revolve around them and their relationship. One indication of this is both are played by painfully pretty actors. They both have faces that you put on empty picture frames when you buy them from your local craft stores.
  • Crazy Jane – Alex’s older sister. If I get to choose to be one of the characters, it’ll be her. She’s a control freak, she’s very competitive and she’s a fun drunk. I’m all that.
  • Black Brad – the show has a token black guy! As one of the main characters! On a major tv network that’s not BET! America is moving strides with its diversity. Felt that? That’s my eyes rolling.
  • Max – he looks like a fat Paul Rudd or a chubby Chris O’Donnell. That alone, I’m sold. He looks like a fraternity guy, but his character is gay. He’s breaking every stereo-type, so I’m all for that too šŸ™‚

Technically, I shouldn’t really need to make a case for the show – I heard it’s already renewed for a second season. Yay.

Happy Endings

Day 05 – Quotable Quotes

Iā€™m doing the Fifteen Day Challenge ā€“ click here to read original post and view the list of fifteen challenges.

I typically write down quotes I like. If you look at my daily planners, you’d find lines from songs, movies and tv shows.

I still have my 2001 planner and took a peek inside and found the quotes below:

If you think back, and replay your year – if it doesn’t bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted. – John “The Biscuit” Cage

Anybody else watched Ally McBeal? I used to be crazy for that show. I think I had my life lessons through this show instead of actually experiencing life during my formative years.

The darkness that engulfs you now is as intense as the light that awaits you.

It’s a shame I didn’t write down who said that. But I did doodle a candle next to the quote. I can’t believe I was so optimistic when I was younger, ha ha! I think growing up has made me look at the glass half empty.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope. – Helen Keller

Now THAT is optimism. Keller had everything taken away from her by fate, but she soldiered on. I think I need to rethink my half empty glass disposition!

This hell from which you have come out is the first step towards heaven. – Victor Hugo

There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher. – Victor Hugo

From Les Miserarbles. Read the book, saw the musical more than once, saw the movie. And Hugo’s work was dumbed down from one medium to the next. If you have the time and the patience, read the novel. It’s one of the best reads I’ve ever done.

The Only Exception is the exception in Glee

So I saw last night’s Glee episode along with a bajillion of people. The second episode of the second season was a Britney episode (not too different from the Madonna episode ā€“ only about twenty-five years younger). Thank God it wasn’t an episode like the real Britney Spears is stuck in the middle of the country and just happened to pass by their high school, but instead, Britney shows up in their fantasies as they were high in whatever rape drug Karl (Carl?) the dentist was using on these kids. The dentist by the way was played by Uncle Jesse. And the Rippers.

Anyway ā€“ Heather Morris, hands down, carried the episode. Who knew this Beyonce back up dancer had it in her? Sure ā€“ she’s just an okay actress, sorta good singer, but she sure can dance. Oh, also found out her full name is Brittany Susan Pierce ā€“ Britanny S. Pierce. I’m dying here. Anyway, she did a “Slave 4 U” cover while wearing every possible Britney outfit: the nude with diamonds, the red latex suit, the albino boa charmer. She also did a duet with Santana ā€“ “Me Against the Music”. If the writers’ goal for the episode is to celebrate Heather Morris, good job. If it was to pay homage to Britney, it was rather meh-ish. I’m just happy Britney was barely in it. She’s no actress. Somebody needs to tell her that. I know ā€“ I’ve seen Crossroads. After seeing the movie, I seriously questioned my taste in movies.

Now the clincher really was the last song sung in the episode ā€“ it was not a Britney song! What the fuck was that about? I really think this one Paramore song took away the focus from the Britney-themed episode. I know that’s true because after watching it, I purchased the Paramore song without even considering to download any of the Spears song ā€“ original or Glee-covers.

Here’s The Only Exception, with lyrics below. Oh, go ahead and fall in love with Hayley Williams, it’s cool:

Ā 

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched as he tried to reassemble it

And my mama swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I’d never sing of love
If it does not exist

But, darling, you are the only exception
But you are the only exception
But you are the only exception
But you are the only exception

Well, maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we’ve got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I’ve always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now, I had sworn to myself
That I’m content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception

I’ve got a tight grip on reality
But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here
I know you’re leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me of some kind of proof it’s not a dream, oh

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
And I’m on my way to believing
Oh, and I’m on my way to believing

upgrade

so the ol’ notebook is working once again šŸ™‚ one would think that i’d be blogging every five minutes like i used to. but veoh got the best of me. been watching arrested development, an awesome show. rumors of the movie based on the tv series should push through. plus, only limited commercials over at veoh (and particularly enjoying beyonce singing upgrade you over and over).

before i start blogging, i would have to do some upgrades to the blog. maybe bigger text would be nice, haha! the white-against-black text is too much to handle as it is. would have to update the links – get rid of dead links, add new ones i visit often.

we’ll see when i get around it. in the mean time, i’m finishing up season three.