Dare to Dream

Back in the late 90s slash early 2000s, I usually spend my weekends lying on the couch, legs up on the back rest, head dangling at the edge of the seat while watching American Top 40 upside-down. This is how I got acquainted with country music, the show would always include the top ten country music videos and play at least one in full, and not necessarily the number one song of the week. This is why when the Philippines went crazy over LeAnn Rimes’ How do I Live, I knew her mainly for Blue, and I liked Trisha Yearwood’s version better.

One of my favorite songs to catch was What’s Forever For. It’s a good song, especially coming from someone who was basically a child. I found out later it’s a cover, but didn’t stop me from visiting local music stores hoping to find his album One Voice in the very limited country section tucked in a corner, all ten CDs of the genre.

Billy Gilman is back in the news. He’s been gone for a long time, I actually forgot about him so I was fairly surprised seeing him all grown up.

Side note: those eyes are photoshopped, right?

I do not have a coming out story. I am pretty lucky not to have all these issues about having to hide in the closet – I have the best parents to ask for, who probably love me more than I really know, I have siblings who are way younger than me who worship me and not old enough yet to make any judgments, and friends who clearly like me for the shit that comes from my mouth more than finding out who’s junk I put in it.

Here’s me laughing at my own joke I just made.

It must have been hard for him to make that video, and realizing he has to come out because he was caught with his boyfriend in public. I do hope he feels better now, and relieved, that he does not have to hide anymore. There will be repercussions in his career, no doubt, but I’ve always thought it’s not your career that defines you, but it’s how you lived your life.

Here’s hoping you find out what’s forever for, Billy.

I’ve been looking at people
And how they change with the times
And lately all I’ve been seeing are people
Throwing love away and losing their minds

Or maybe it’s me that’s gone crazy
‘Cause I can’t understand why
All these people keep hurting each other
When good love is so hard to come by

So what’s the glory in living
Doesn’t anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what’s forever for

I’ve been listening to people
And they say love is the key
It’s not my way to let them lead me astray
It’s only that I want to believe

But I see love-hungry people
Trying their best to survive
While in their hands is a dying romance
And they’re not even trying to keep it alive

So what’s the glory in living
Doesn’t anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what’s forever for
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what’s forever for

Greatest Bastard

I made you laugh, I made you cry
I made you open up your eyes
Didn’t I?

I helped you open out your wings,
your legs, and many other things
Didn’t I?

Am I the greatest bastard that you know?
The only one who let you go?
The one you hurt so much you cannot bear?

Well we were good, when we were good
When we were not misunderstood

You helped me love, you helped me live
You helped me learn how to forgive
Didn’t you?

I wish that I could say the same
But when you left, you left the blame
Didn’t you?

Am I the greatest bastard that you met?
The only one you can’t forget?
Am I the one your truth’s been waiting for?

Or am I just dreaming once again?
Some dreams are better when they end

Some make it, mistake it
Some force and some will fake it
I never meant to let you down
Some fret it, forget it
Some ruin and some regret it
I never meant to let you down

We learn to wag and tuck our tails
We learn to win and then to fail
Didn’t we?

We learn that lovers love to sing
And that losers love to cling
Didn’t we?

Am I the greatest bastard that you know?
When will we learn to let this go?
We fought so much, we’ve broken all the charm

But letting go is not the same
As pushing someone else away

So please don’t let on
You don’t know me
Please don’t let on
I’m not here
Please don’t let on
You don’t love me
‘Cause I know you do
I know

That some make it, mistake it
Some force and some will fake it
I never meant to let you down
Some fret it, forget it
Some ruin and some regret it
I never meant to let you down
I never meant to let you
I never meant to let you down
I never meant.

~ Damien Rice

Not Looking Good

It’s not looking good for us
What made it through the flood is now covered in rust
It’s not really working like I thought
But I can’t take it back
Like something I wish I’d never bought
I’m sorry that I dragged you all this way
For no one to call us back, no one you can play with
I could plant a thousand little seeds
But I can’t see a garden, just dirt up to my knees
Say it isn’t over, no, I need a second chance
I need a second chance

RWBY

I’ve never heard of Rooster Teeth and it’s a shame because they’re pretty amazing. A good friend from college sent me a link on my FaceBook wall of the red trailer, saying he’d like to see my sketches be animated similar to RT’s work. But RT’s work makes mine look like a toddler’s doodles – you’d put them up on a fridge and feel proud, but not because of of how good they are.

I don’t know much about the back stories of each character, but there’s a fan wiki up. It’s a good read, check it out.

RBWY

Day 7: Seven Days Until Thirty-Two

Will be turning 32 soon and for the next seven days leading up to my birthday, I’m going to try to write down any lessons I may have learned from the past year when I was 31.

After spin class, my boyfriend and I grabbed a quick bite and told him I was miserable. I also told him that the only reason I know things are going to get better is because things can’t go any worse.

It takes a special person to put a dark cloud on the silver lining.

But things can get worse. I can things of many ways on how things can get worse. But they won’t. I won’t let things get worse. I’m almost at the age that the calendar can not even hold even in the longest months.

Day 6: Seven Days Until Thirty-Two

Will be turning 32 soon and for the next seven days leading up to my birthday, I’m going to try to write down any lessons I may have learned from the past year when I was 31.

My best friend Ryan invited me to Madonna’s MDNA tour concert when it hit Yankee Stadium – it was probably the best concert I’ve ever seen. I was probably blinded by the magnitude of it – because I really am considering the number two best concert I’ve ever been might actually be better than Madonna’s.

I first heard of Metric from Scott Pilgrim versus the World movie, where their song “Black Sheep” was featured. I fell in love. I instantly downloaded the current album then, Fantasies. I rocked out to “Help I’m Alive” in the shower, I strut to “Stadium Love” while walking to the subway on my way to work, I fell asleep listening to “Blindness” on repeat every night.

When I found out they were coming out with an new album, I patiently waited for that tweet saying they’d be on tour. And when the Sythetica Tour was announced and they were going to be in New York City in September, I thought: perfect birthday gift. Well, it was a botched birthday plan but my best bud Ryan came along and I still had a good time.

Can’t wait until Metric swings by New York City again.

Day 2: Seven Days Until Thirty-Two

Will be turning 32 soon and for the next seven days leading up to my birthday, I’m going to try to write down any lessons I may have learned from the past year when I was 31.

I discovered gaming. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a Gameboy since it first came out in Japan and got every incarnation of the handheld except the micro one and the 3DS. But I could live without a handheld or a console.

Until 2011 came around and StarCraft 2 rolled along. I played this game years before and I remember liking the story. And that’s how I play a game – like I’m watching a movie. I do not care about shooting someone in the head, what concerns me is will the hero get to save the girl. Then the same developer released Diablo 3, and that’s another game I got engrossed in. I loved the story, and I love that I just point and click a gazillion times until the devil himself is dead.

For Christmas, I got myself a PS3, and I got a PSVita as a present. I found myself spending hours crossing the new world as an assassin either in colonial Boston or a creole in New Orleans, as a high school student solving a murder that involves going inside the tv, as an adventurer who has the power to control gravity and wall on walls, or a scorned queen looking for revenge. And all is good.